CONFESSION 2: 🥺 SO HERE IS ANOTHER ONE. GROWING UP I WAS VERY WEIRD, ALOOF, INTROVERTED. I was shy and did NOT FIT IN. When I got older I was conditioned to dislike this aspect of myself. People would judge me as “stand-off ish” etc, and it even discouraged me more. I immersed myself in psychology, body language, & spirituality to understand why I was the way I was. Was there something wrong with me? (Myers Briggs says I’m an INFP, that helped a bit) BUT still on top of that now I know I’m also very empathetic and I FEEL EVERYTHING. I am adventurous in my heart, so I’m inclined to take new invites everywhere I go. But I forget how challenging this could be. (Doing long days with people I barely know is really taxing on me)

At times, I have experienced people putting me down etc. that I am “too tired” & “can’t keep up” I am an introvert. (Weekend trips also has resulted in me becoming so weak I get ill) & IT SUCKS I run out of battery really easily, and my work makes me drained. A lot respond with “NO YOUR NOT, YOUR OUTGOING, YOUR SO CHATTY ETC (or they are surprised because they judge me off the few hours I’m out a week/ where drinking is involved there as well because it helps with the sensitive energies)” but what these people fail to see is the work I put into being talkative, presentable, putting on a GOOD show, & over working to make others feel comfortable. (Of course I am chatty with my close friends)

I really wish the world was more understanding for people like me. I like to enjoy the company of others, but sometimes I’m quiet & in my thoughts, vibing. RECENTLY, I WAS LECTURED by someone for being tired on a day out. WTH? (BTW THESE PEOPLE BEHIND ME ARE VERY NICE PEOPLE NOT THEM) Sometimes you can’t win. But I’m happy for the experiences life has taught me.

Final thoughts, it’s okay to be introverted, & tired. You don’t have to be anything, to make anyone happy. I worked really hard to Be presentable and charismatic so I can fit it in this world, but lately I’m just like fuck it I am who I am. Not a lot of people are going to understand me, but I know a lot of you will resonate with this message.

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CONFESSION: People sometimes ask me why did I move to Arizona?? Why do I choose to be alone? Etc sometimes I feel people may not understand why we make the decisions we make. Is it our responsibility to answer to everyone’s questions? For those that want to know… I just wanted to heal and find more inner peace. I am what I would call “highly sensitive” to energy and I always have been. Growing up it was hard for me to explain, & very hard for me to fit in. I felt like I didn’t belong on this planet. And I don’t mean this in a “I’m special way” I was always sad & lonely.

I feel lately if you proclaim yourself as an empath somehow that’s a “red flag” to some people. I’ve heard it all and seen it all. I’m tired of explaining myself to people! I want to focus on what I love to do most & that’s help people. I feel a lot of people feel the same way I do. & that’s who my message and work is for!!!! And of course if I have some time left for myself to write, and do what I love & I am happy too.

Since I love helping people, I think I sacrificed a lot of myself in the process. I don’t want to do that anymore. I just want to find happiness. Through this process I really found out who my real friends are. (Not many, but surprisingly an interesting group of people. Thank you guys you know who you are & of course all of you who support me I call you MY FRIENDS)

I always try to spread love and positivity at the end of the day. I’m tired of the people (in my personal life I’m mostly referring to) WHERE nothing is ever good enough. I cut ties and energy with a lot of people. And I don’t really need to explain why. HERE IS TO A NEW CHAPTER WHERE I CAN DO THE BEST I CAN!!

I love you all so much. I don’t say this enough but my YouTube channel gave me a purpose, without all the love and support I probably would of believed the people who tried to call me “delusional” & that I was “crazy” cheers to 25 years of hearing my angels & many more years to come. AND FRANKLY I DON’T GIVE A FUCK WHAT ANYONE THINKS. Cheers!

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