Confession 4: HAIR COLOR CHANGE &..

First of all thanks you guys so much for 100k subs on YouTube and 200k on TikTok! I feel so blessed. When I reached this YOUTUBE milestone in may, I never really thought it was that big of deal. Luckily for me some people around me including my sister Stephanie & the person I was seeing at the time reminded me how special this accomplishment was.

I always had a hard time seeing my own success. For me, I can always improve and do better. But someone on Patreon recently thanked me for my hard work & consistency & I really appreciate that because that’s really all it takes to be successful. AT the end of the day, it’s all just numbers, however those numbers represent ALL THE PEOPLE I’ve reached and helped over the years.

Some days I felt like giving up.. I had people that I mentored and care for betray me & “friends” and others try to bring me down. I felt alone in many parts of the process. I took every lesson and kept going! Thank you to the many of you guys reach out to tell me I’ve helped/ changed your life for the better. It honestly hasn’t been easy. But my dream is to help make the world a better place & I am living it. That is what makes all this worth it.

BTW I started YouTube 3 years ago today, I have changed so much alongside you guys.. my mission is to just inspire you all towards your dreams & hopefully I can expand even more!

BTW I moved back to NJ ❤️😊and I am enjoying this fall weather. I am finally feeling like I have the proper support I need in my life. So if you feel alone & overworked, don’t worry there is better days ahead. I am ready for what comes next. How about you guys?! 

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CONFESSION 3.. let’s talk about CONFIDENCE & BODY POSITIVITY. Where do I begin? I was never a naturally thin person. I was overweight as a child and I was BULLIED!! Sadly, I suffered from an eating disorder when I was 11 (very dark times for me) I got through it on my own..then afterwards, my metabolism was shot so it was hard for me to maintain my weight. My weight has always fluctuated. But I truly began to love working out and eating healthy. (But still I WANT LOVE to enjoy life & food & YOU CAN DO THIS IN BALANCE!!.)

It took many years to repair the damage the media & bullying had on my body image. It wasn’t only till I learned to love myself I was able to maintain weight that I AM HAPPY WITH!! Even though I’ve lost some weight it no longer defines how I feel about myself as a person. Now when people compliment my body I appreciate that! BUT IT took years of time & effort plus just accepting I am naturally going to have thick thighs & there is NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS!

ANYWAYS THE POINT OF THIS MESSAGE: ALL BODIES ARE BEAUTIFUL! This is my message. CLEARLY I AM NOT PERFECT BUT I LOVE MYSELF. Lots of time spent in the gym & working on myself helped my body image- but healing that inner child also does wonders for your confidence! This is the first year I am really getting comfortable behind the camera. IT TOOK AWHILE TO GET HERE!! ❤️ 

ALSO I’M 5’1 SO I THOUGHT I COULD NEVER “photograph well” ITS ALL IN THE MIND !! YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A RUNWAY MODEL TO TAKE A GREAT SHOT!

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